Saturday, February 12, 2011

Application Letter Critique

1st Draft

February 11, 2011


Block D, Room D238

25 Lower Kent Ridge Road

Ridge View Residences

Singapore 119081


Mrs. Jennifer Ng

Group Human Resources Director

Human Resource Division

HTC Corporation

The HTC Apex

32 Joo Chiat Road

Singapore 609434


Dear Mrs. Ng:

I would like to be considered the Senior Officer (Media) position offered in HTC Corporation. After graduating from NUS with a fruitful and dynamic undergraduate journey, I am inspired to continue my passion in an aspiring organization to seek opportunities­­ in acquiring new media-related skills and paving a sustainable direction for the development of media-related infrastructure.

My result-oriented approach to tasks and challenges involving multi-party benefits emphasizes active learning through hands-on experiences and strategic negotiation. Along with the drive to record moments from engaging people-oriented initiatives by hostel residents in the form of media, I piloted an initiative to establish a 130-member strong multi-disciplinary (Photo, Video, IT, Design and Digital Media Management) media committee known as EusoffWorks for inter-committee publicity and media collaboration in Eusoff Hall. Teamwork and interpersonal collaborative skills I picked up in float and side prop building in Eusoff Rag provided me a momentum to substantiate achievable goals with fellow members from the Photography Wing in the quantum development of EusoffWorks.

With my accumulated experiences in conflict resolution and conscious reinforcement about the common goal of collaborative teamwork, a Senior Officer (Media) position allows me to contribute profoundly to the sustainability of HTC Corporation in reaching out to potential clients of a broader background to crystalize and further solidify long-term relationships.

Enclosed is my resume for your kind perusal. I look forward to your correspondence. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,




Chen Qingyao


Enclosure: My Resume



2nd Draft (Ammendments denoted as underlined)

February 11, 2011


Block D, Room D238

25 Lower Kent Ridge Road

Ridge View Residences

Singapore 119081


Mrs. Jennifer Ng

Group Human Resources Director

Human Resource Division

HTC Corporation

The HTC Apex

32 Joo Chiat Road

Singapore 609434


Dear Mrs. Ng:

I would like to be considered for the Senior Officer (Media) position offered in HTC Corporation. After graduating from NUS with a dynamic and fruitful undergraduate journey, I am inspired to continue my passion in an aspiring organization to seek opportunities­­ in acquiring new media-related skills and paving a sustainable direction for the development of media-related infrastructure.

My result-oriented approach to tasks and challenges involving multi-party benefits emphasizes active learning through hands-on experiences and strategic negotiation. Along with the drive to record moments from engaging people-oriented initiatives by hostel residents in the form of media, I piloted an initiative to establish a 130-member strong multi-disciplinary (Photo, Video, IT, Design and Digital Media Management) media committee known as EusoffWorks for inter-committee publicity and media collaboration in Eusoff Hall. Teamwork and interpersonal collaborative skills I picked up in float and side prop building in Eusoff Rag provided me a momentum to substantiate achievable goals with fellow members from the Photography Wing in the quantum development of EusoffWorks.

With my accumulated experiences in conflict resolution and conscious reinforcement about the common goal of collaborative teamwork, a Senior Officer (Media) position allows me to contribute profoundly to the sustainability of HTC Corporation in reaching out to potential clients of a broader background to crystalize and further solidify long-term relationships.

Enclosed is my resume for your kind perusal. I look forward to your correspondence to discuss how my experiences and qualities could help HTC Corporation scale greater heights. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,




Chen Qingyao

2 comments:

  1. Hey man,


    The letter was phenomenal; it sounded like something from an official government transcript though! Extremely professional to the point I'm not sure if it has lost its good effect. But I guess it was fine. It just sounded like a scholarly article about yourself, rather than a professional one!!! Haha!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete